By Elisabeth Strillacci

SALISBURY — As the month of April came to a close, the staff at the Terrie Hess Child Advocacy Center took a breath, then got back to work.

Because April is National Child Abuse Awareness month, it can be the center’s busiest time of year. It is the month that brings the most recognition, although abuse, prevention and education are a year-round effort for them. And for Erin Moody, who is the organization’s prevention and education program manager, it is a moment to highlight the ongoing push for education, and for prevention.

“People often think prevention is difficult, but if we can stop one predator, then think of the children we have saved from becoming victims,” she said. “People also think they need to have proof to report a concern, but that is not true. If you are seeing something you think is wrong, trust what your instincts are telling you.”

To help with that, the center offers a training program called the W5, which is the who, what, when, where and why of child abuse and what is required in mandated reporting. A two-hour course helps adults understand that everyone is legally a mandated reporter of child abuse and neglect, how to recognize the signs of those issues, what the roles of police and social services are and how to contact both.

The center is as much of a homelike atmosphere as the staff can generate, with a cozy feel to most of the rooms. And therapy dog Murphy is always on hand, unless a child is afraid of a dog, for comfort and reassurance. But the hard fact is the center is there to help children who have been hurt find a way to tell their story, and that is going to be hard no matter what.

“The biggest part about reporting it if you suspect a child is being abused, physically, sexually, psychologically or being neglected, is we can’t insist the children protect themselves,” she said. “We put so much weight on their shoulders as it is. In court, we often see a child is having to prove beyond a doubt that they have been abused, and they often have to tell their story over and over again.” But one thing the CAC can do is reduce the number of people interviewing the child at the start.

“Before, it would begin with a social worker talking to the child, then a police officer, then the social worker actually assigned to the case, then the detective on the case, then the ER nurses, and then the doctor and finally a therapist,” said Moody. “We have reached a point where if the social worker and/or the deputy realize they may have a legitimate case, they will immediately bring the child here.” And once the center takes the child into the program, they stay with them until they are 21, and even if that child comes back at 45 and says they need to talk to someone, the center will find them help.

“We are essentially here for them always,” said Moody. And the truth, she says, is that some children cannot bring themselves to tell what has happened initially. “And that’s OK. We don’t force anything. If they say they can’t go any further, it stops. If they call in a year and say they need to talk, our door is open.”

The one thing not available is a walk in. Any cases have to be referred. Beyond that, the center does all it can, at no cost.

“If they have insurance, we will bill insurance, but otherwise, we do not charge, and the client never ever gets charged,” said Moody.

In addition to working with children, the center also offers some support to the parent or guardian, including parenting classes.

“What happens if a 70-year-old grandmother is suddenly raising her grandchildren?” said Moody. “Things have changed. Or if a parent suddenly becomes a single parent. Parents need support as well.”

Moody credited the center’s Parenting Programs Coordinator Margaret Stridick with doing yeoman’s work in setting up parenting classes and support, “and she will go wherever. She offers help here at the office, wherever you are or even remotely.”

And now the Terrie Hess Center has a separate therapy building across the street, called the Robin’s Loft, so children coming to therapy are not coming back to the building where they were originally interviewed. They are now in a different place so they can separate somewhat from that initial reporting of trauma.

In addition to supporting the child and the non-offending parent or guardian, Moody says the staff works to support the police officers involved in the cases.

“They are hearing about cases like this on an ongoing basis and we do our best to provide some small support to them as well,” she said. “And we appreciate the fact that even the best officers may struggle with cases involving children but they recognize the staff here is trained to talk to children and this is where they bring them. We appreciate that they are helping the children by bringing them here.”

Moody said in terms of prevention, education of children remains an essential piece of the puzzle, and she is thrilled that the center is allowed into first and fifth grade classes to teach children things like Stop, Go, Tell.

“We have to walk a very fine line, because we do not want parents to misunderstand what we are teaching,” she said. In educating children about their own body safety, she said “we have to mention the words private parts, because that is what we are talking about, but we get no more specific than that. Trouble is there are millions of words used to represent body parts, but we need to have consistent language so everyone understands what a child is talking about. So those are the specific words we use. And we teach Stop, Go, Tell rather than Good Touch Bad Touch because abusers can manipulate what is good in a child’s mind.”

Stop Go Tell involves telling an unsafe person to Stop, Go get away from that unsafe person, and Tell a trusted adult what is happening. And Moody added that “if you are getting in trouble when you tell your safe person, then that person isn’t really safe. Find another adult.” Because a child should never be penalized for coming forward.

If a child comes to you, as an adult, and shares that they are being mistreated, there are several essential things to keep in mind. Let the child do the talking, giving them your undivided attention. Take notes, especially of quotes from the child on information that is specific, and acknowledge what that child is feeling. If you understand enough about what will happen once you report, you should explain that to the child if they are old enough to understand. Because you are preparing to report the situation, you will need the child’s name and the parent or guardian’s name and their address and contact information, the child’s age and if possible their birth date, and the alleged abuser’s name. If you believe the child is in immediate danger, that is an essential piece of information.

What not to do? Don’t interrogate the child by pressing for answers and don’t lead the child by suggesting answers or asking why. The child doesn’t know. Try not to interrupt their story, but let them tell it at their own pace and in their words. Don’t promise not to tell, because the goal is the opposite, and don’t let your own emotions get the best of you. Remain calm and keep your voice even.

The Terrie Hess Center relies on grants and donations to survive and Moody said they have been incredibly fortunate with support from the philanthropic community. But there is always a need for more support, and anyone can make a contribution, either financially or by reaching out to see what the center’s current needs are to help support the children.

The primary cases the center addresses involve sexual abuse, but the center also addresses all other forms of abuse. In 2024, 66.4 percent of cases involved sexual abuse, 18.3 percent physical abuse, 8.4 percent “other” abuse and 5.1 percent neglect, but Moody believes that in part is because the public isn’t aware they are more than just a center for children of sexual assault and abuse.

Last year, the center conducted 235 forensic interviews, 198 medical evaluations, 3,850 advocacy encounters, 1,619 therapy sessions, 432 parenting sessions, 443 therapy dog encounters with therapy dog Murphy, for whom Moody is the licensed handler, and 2,469 students educated.

In addition to teaching in the elementary schools and even in some kindergarten classes with models designed for younger children, Moody can go to local middle schools by invitation and is preparing to go to several local high schools, also by invitation. She mentioned Erin’s Law, that would require all schools in the state to offer a one-hour program on personal body safety, and said she hopes North Carolina will eventually pass it. The requirement can be opted out of by parents, but it gives every student that takes it the opportunity to hear that they can tell, and that they are not alone.

The goal in every educational program is to give children the power of firm knowledge of what should be happening to their bodies. Anything that feels uncomfortable is not welcome, but that can be confusing, and Moody helps children understand what uncomfortable means. Moody used the example of a hug to demonstrate.

“We talk about safe touches and how hugging is one,” she said. “A simple hug from your mom or your friend is OK. If you are in the grocery store and your grandmother comes in and hugs you, is that OK? And children will say yes. But when I ask if a stranger comes up and hugs you, is that OK? They’ll say no, ew, that’s wrong, but then I remind them we just decided a hug is OK. And the light goes on, I can see them working through it. And I tell them, what they are feeling as they are thinking about this is what I mean by uncomfortable. Just because something is OK in some circumstances, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s not OK.”

Moody, who has been with the center for six years, said “in a perfect world, children are not subject to abuse, the center doesn’t need to exist. But this isn’t a perfect world, so we are going to continue to do all we can to help. To interrupt grooming, to encourage people who have suspicions or who have been told by a child something is happening to come forward, and to help children who have been subjected to the trauma of abuse, whether as a victim or as a witness, to go on to live a happy, healthy life.”

If you suspect a child has been or is the victim of abuse, contact the Department of Social Services at 704-216-8499.